Spoken Word Moment!!

Special shout out to Mr. Motivation himself, J. Scott, for putting me on to this poem!! It's AMAZING! Great for women AND men to hear. In ANY situation you have to Let Go and Let God...and trust that He will work it out. Be it loneliness or anything else that makes you feel incomplete, you must wait on Him and He will do what's best for you...ALL things work for the GOOD of them who love the LORD! Enjoy!!!

*Spoken Word Moment*--"That Girl"

So this poem is very deep!! I found myself relating...but I'm sure you'll like it even if you don't as well...CHECK IT OUT!!

Controlling Love And Heartbreak...

Relationships...can't live with them, can't live without them. I say that because, when in a relationship, you are at your most vulnerable point. No longer are you concerned with how you view yourself, but you care what your significant other thinks, maybe even more than you do yourself. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that; it's completely natural. It's a frustrating thing though, to know that there is someone that can get the best of you even when you don't want to let them. This person has the ability to make you laugh, cry, angry, happy...in a sense they can control your emotions. At the end of the day, all you really want to do is be happy. You want to make them happy, so they can make you happy and you both be happy together. But is it just me or do you become the most vulnerable, gullible person on this road to happiness? It takes a lot of selflessness in order to make someone else happy...it's something you really have to WANT to do. But although your intentions are good, you are in turn setting yourself up for the biggest fear of relationships: HEARTBREAK. When you begin to invest into someone, you then open up that door for them to possibly hurt you like you may have been before. Having to deal with the the disappointment of an unsuccessful relationship after you've done what you thought you were supposed to do is heartbreaking in itself...on top of the reason for its end.
...And after it ends we're back at square one...being alone preparing ourselves to do it all over again. But do we really have to do it ALL over again? I say...NO! You see, in the process of a relationship we tend to accept things that we know aren't right in an effort to keep the relationship from ending. We, as women, have that very bad. We get so caught up in trying to make things okay when we know good and well that it simply wasn't. There are so many times that we attempt to bite bullets that somehow find a way penetrating right through our hearts. We try to sweep things under the rug in hopes that it will disappear...but sooner or later that very rug is going to have to come up...and that dirt will still be there...still a problem.
Now, I'm not going to tell you to never love again...that would be crazy talk, but I say that it should only be once in your lifetime that love seriously made you do and accept some crazy things. After that, we should consider "living and learning" and applying it to our love lives. Some people confuse that concept with having "baggage"...but it's two totally different things. If a woman just simply doesn't give a man a try at all and immediately has strikes against him then that's baggage. You should make it a point to trust if a man hasn't given you reason not to. BUT if a new man is showing some of the same characteristics you've seen from failures in the past, then by right, you can say something or take some type of action. After all the B.S. you should have some type of standards set and the next man should meet those or at least come close...and if he doesn't, you can make the choice then and there if you want to stick around. You know the things that hurt you and the things you couldn't really deal with...so why would you do that again? We have to stop looking at leaving as a bad thing. It's not always the worst decision if it's well thought out. If you are having continuous problems in a relationship and it seems that no matter what you say or how much you say it, it doesn't go away...then that's an open invitation to leave. (MEN, this can apply to you too so I'm not "man-bashing", just speaking from a woman's point of view.) You have to remember that while your goal is to make him happy, his should be the same for you...and if it isn't...then what really do you have in common? And if you have nothing in common...what are you doing in a relationship? It's true that heartbreak is inevitable...but we can control how it gets broken sometimes. Much like a storm. Any fool can tell when it's about to storm it's gloomy, gray, and cloudy...and you can either stay in or go out. If you stay in, you'll be sad that it's raining, but you'll be glad you decided not to go out and have the wind blowing you, clothes drenched, and your umbrella blown apart, which is all awful!
I say all this to say...don't be afraid to be vocal when it comes to relationships. You deserve the best and you shouldn't allow yourself to settle for anything less. No man or woman is going to be perfect...but they should try their hardest to make love a little easier for you. There may be a time when you realize that you may be much better off alone...and there doesn't have to be any hard feelings. It's just the fact that at that moment, that person simply doesn't compliment you and your needs. Don't look at it as a loss, but a possibility to win. You should never be too vulnerable to say..."You know what, I just can't do this with you right now..." If you don't, you could potentially set yourself up for more disappointments and more heartbreak. But don't let the fear of pain keep you from at least trying again...if a man or woman wants to love you and wants to do right by you...LET THEM!! You won't get too many people like that in a life time.
They say love has no definition...but it has millions. They're all significant to the individual;love is defined by our own standards and how you want to feel...so continue to be open to the idea but don't let the idea control you. What is meant to be will be...or in better words "What GOD has for me...IT IS FOR ME".

LOVE
Alondra

Moving On...ALONE

How do you ever really know when is the right time to begin again?
The moment when you say to yourself...I am totally ready to let someone new in my life...
From what I've seen, it seems that moment can be confused with the mere want to move on more so than the true readiness of moving forward...
So many times we get mad at ourselves for still having some type of emotional connection to someone...that we force ourselves to someone new...we make it a point to get in new relationships in hopes that it will make "I'm over you"...more legit...more believable...
But in reality we need to ask ourselves...just who are you fooling?
A new face...no matter how beautiful and exciting it is will not replace the feelings that still linger for someone else...
It won't stop you from wanting to call, wanting to know what they're doing...it won't stop you from wanting to know if they still think about you...it won't stop you from saving pictures and cards as keep sakes for those moments when you want to reflect back...it won't stop you from answering the phone when they call and having a conversation that takes you back to places this "new" person can, in no way, reproduce...
And all the while we're in this emotional battle within ourselves, we forget that we managed to bring someone new along...we forgot that this person has to sit back and battle their doubts in hopes for a normal, happy relationship...we forget that this new person has every intention of being "the one"...not knowing that maybe "the one" is not the title they will possess...I guess just "someone" would be more fitting...
I say all this to say...before you move on...make sure that you, by yourself, have moved on...it's hard enough to fight yourself in this wat of emotions, and having someone sit back and watch as you pretend with yourself and them makes it that much harder.
Getting over is no easy process...no matter what the situation is...but at the end of the day, it is something you must do alone...that way you and someone new can both enjoy the other side blissfully. Nothing is worse that uncertainty...

Alondra

The Difference A Year Makes....

*My Hair in MAY 2010*



*My Hair in MAY 2011!!*

*TRANSITION UPDATE*

WELL HELLO BLOG FOLLOWERS!!! It's been a minute since I've done an update on my hair, so I decided I'd do a brief one now. It will be a year in May since I had my last relaxer!!! YAAAAY!! Dealing with my new growth and relaxed ends hasn't been as hectic as I anticipated. I'm still doing heat free styling. I probably had my hair flat ironed a total of 6 times since I've started transitioning...it might be less than that actually. Any who, my hair regimen is still the same and it has been working wonders!! My hair is really growing and I'm P.R.O.U.D.!!



Here's my new found favorite style!! The Curly Fro!!
If you want to know how I got this look, just let me know and I'll gladly
post a blog about it!!! <3


Here's a shot of my natural hair texture!! It's like that all in the back and sides of my head and then it gets different at the crown of my head. I'm guessing that may be 3c or 4a type...not really sure exactly. I'll do another blog solely on hair typing one day.



And here is a length check as of April 2011!!!! That red you see was just a little color extension that I had glued in to add a little umph to my hair style.This was flat ironed of course.

Any way that's it for this month's update! If you have any questions about how I do my hair or products I use just ask me!!!

*JUST DESSERT*

Here's The new Season Opener for the TV show I'm on at school!! Check IT out!

It Was Crazy How it Happened...

It was crazy how it happened...
It was as if the world stopped in that moment
My palms were sweating, my heart was racing
With the question "What will he think?"
Constantly playing in my mind
But the moment his presence met mine...
I felt as if I could read him...
It was easy...like bold font
It was easy because I could see in his eyes
That his palms were sweating, his heart was racing
With the question "What will she think?"
Constantly playing in his mind

We entered a trance...
Lost in the excitement of this feeling
Not concerned about being found
'Cause we were together
And it just felt right--
For a second
I thought it was a dream...
Nothing this blissful could take place on Earth
Well...not in my world at least...
But the smell of his cologne...
The feel of his embrace...
The sound of his voice...
Let me know that this was indeed
Happening...

Staring into his eyes...
I felt as if I lost all control...
My body was no longer mine
As strange and unusual as this feeling was
My mind wouldn't allow me to analyze
All I could do...
Was smile
I guess that was my body's way of telling me
That this...was okay

I didn't fight it...
I became one with the vibe and let it take me
Where ever it wanted to go...
Our conversation was lyrical...
No, it had no tune, but it had meaning
The sounds of our breathing and the beating of our hearts
Became the rhythm...
And we...became a song
It was melodic...and though some moments were silent
The harmony could not be mistaken...

Together, he and I turned a lifeless room
Into one of the most elaborate places we both had ever been
The atmosphere was sensual...as if rose petals and candles
Had been scattered throughout the space
It was like a vacation...but home was only a few feet away
And when it was time for us to part ways
When I began to have doubts that all of this was too good to be true...
...Our lips...touched...

It was crazy how it happened...

**BLOG UPDATE**

So...I definitely haven't blogged in a minute but school has been hectic and I hardly have anytime to sit down and write...BUT I'm going to try to do better! A lot of things have been going on in my life and I'm HAPPY ABOUT IT!! So It's safe to say that you can expect to have some really good reads from me! Also, if there's anything you want me to talk about LET ME KNOW! I would be more than happy to do so...you all stay blessed!

Talk to you Soon!

Wife, Woman, Friend-Def Poetry Jam

Here's another one I found on YouTube!! Don't settle for the okey doke ladies! A man doesn't deserve your all if he's not giving the same!

Woman to Woman- Def Poetry Jam

A message to the OTHER woman...I LOVED this!! Let me know what you think!

Who are YOU...to Judge?

Judgement. It's one of those things that really needs to be addressed. Now I'm not condemning anyone because I'm quite guilty of it too, but we need to take the time out to really analyze ourselves.

In our minds, we have this ideal of how everything is supposed to be. We have guidelines for our family, friends, our lovers....and if they fall short of anything on the list, we immediately dismiss them from our lives in one way or another.

Why is that?

When did we become the "poster child" for how a good, genuine person is supposed to be? Who literally came down and told us that you are the epitome of perfection?

True enough we have our likes and dislikes, our preferences and our standards which are all fine and dandy...but why do we become so hostile and cruel when someone or something doesn't quite meet our criteria?

It seems as if we voluntarily forget that we messed up at some point in our lives. We take the things that we did wrong and somehow make them right in our own little flawless worlds.

We hold on to when people hurt us in some way but almost immediately forget how we might have possibly hurt others.

We put people on pedestals and act as if the world has ended when they do something not praiseworthy, when we, ourselves, can't handle the constant pressures being placed on one either.

We have to realize that people do the best they can do for who they are at that moment. No, everything is not going to be great and you may not agree with everything that they do...but if these are people that you KNOW and you know them to have genuine hearts then why be so quick to cast them out of your life? Why be so quick to say "I'm done with them" when in reality somebody had every right to say that in regards to you...

We are so very hard on the ones we love...so focused on keeping them from hurting us...we forget that we have that same potential to be....imperfect

Imagine if everybody left your corner the very moment you made a mistake.

You were SUPPOSED to do it "this way" but you didn't get it quite right...and now you're left all alone...imagine if no one judged you by your heart but by your sometimes confused mind.

There comes a time when we all have to take the time out to look at all the things that make us imperfect...so in the spirit of confession...I will be the first to admit all of the things I'm horrible at...

1. I'm a procrastinator to the very meaning of the word...I'm late all the time for things I shouldn't be

2. I'm not the BEST communicator in the world...I don't keep in touch with the people I love enough

3. I make some AWFUL decisions when it comes to my love life...and most times those decisions were well thought out

4. Sometimes I don't talk it out...I don't always want to hear the other side of the story because after I get mad...I don't want to be proved wrong for my actions

5. There are times that I can be funny acting and come off quite nonchalant...and I never feel the need to explain myself to anyone

6. I've resorted to lying in efforts to "help" situations

7. I've disappointed my parents on several occasions

8. I fall short of the things God expects of me almost everyday...if not every day

So you see...I'm nowhere near perfect...and I'm not too prideful to say that, YES, there is A LOT about me that I need to change. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's felt this way...

But we have to remember that the people in our lives are possibly going through the same thing...maybe they have the will to change, but no means? Maybe they need to hear a word from you to help inspire them.

We have to STOP being so caught up in pointing out the wrong things in other people when we are not aware of how many prayers had been said for us or how many tears shed for us.

FACE IT...we are NO ONE to judge the next person at ALL! Especially if they are people close to us...we all have to realize we let them in our lives for a reason...and we can't immediately dismiss them for being human and not living up to "our personal expectations".

If you ask me who I am...I'm simply Alondra. I have my pros and I have my cons and most likely I'll never be as right as I want to be...but that's okay. I can distinguish the people who truly love me from others if they accept my perfect imperfections; and I will strive to be better everyday for them and my God.

In conclusion, we have to learn to love people for who they REALLY are...if the good outweighs the bad...embrace it. Stop making huge of the small things someone did that upset you. Cherish those relationships...because they'll be the very thing that keeps you going when you fall short of your own standards.

~Alondra